Thursday, September 3, 2009

Do Not Read This!!!

Now I'm a published author.

With one book under my belt I would like to publish another. So each morning after I work out, instead of calling my agent about TV work, I write. At least, that used to be my pattern. However, since I've become a published author, I find myself reading the one thing I know better than to read--reviews.

As a playwright, I was told a long time ago to ignore the notices (that's what snooty New York playwrights call reviews). Stick to your art. And for most of my writing career I have been able to either avoid reviews or read and dismiss them. But with the arrival of Never Slow Dance With A Zombie, all that has changed.

Here's my new morning routine. I turn on the computer and google alerts pings: review, review, review.

SMART SIDE OF MY BRAIN: Oh great! People are reading the book. I'm happy about that.

NEEDY SIDE OF MY BRAIN: But what are they saying about you?

SMART: It doesn't matter. Whatever they think it isn't about me. Its about the book.

NEEDY: Of course it's about you! You wrote the darn book, didn't you?

SMART: I'm not going to read the review. I did that yesterday. I read a bad review and it brought me down all day. I was a mess, and totally unable to work.

NEEDY: That's why you need to read this, E-Man...

[Yes, the needy side of my brain calls me E-Man. It's an ego boost]

NEEDY (CONT'D) ...Read just one. If it's good it will counter act the effect of the one you read yesterday.

SMART: But what if it isn't good?

NEEDY: Stop being so negative! Read the darn review!

So I read the review. This one is complimentary and quite flattering. I can feel all the angst from yesterday slipping away as I read.

SMART: You're right. I'm glad I read it. I feel better already. Thanks. Now I can really get some work done.

NEEDY: Wait! There's another one.

SMART: I... I shouldn't push my luck.

NEEDY: There you go being negative again. E-Man, baby, have some faith.

[Needy me knows how to push my buttons]

SMART: Okay, but just this..... *reading* AHHHHHH! SHE HATES ME!

Another day without writing. I promise myself I won't read any reviews tomorrow

NEEDY: *chuckling* Sure you won't.


  1. Haha, yes you areeeee....hey don't worry, think of it like this, read the bad reviews as constructive criticisms...and when you write your next book make sure you listen to the negative parts of your first book...ya know what I mean? I think you should write a book about someone who battles good and evil within themselves hehe, that was actually kinda funny! ;]

  2. I have a much less polite name for that side of my brain, but since she delights in making me unhappy...I don't feel too bad about it.

    As for the naysayers, I find that childish behavior is a good way to work my disappointment out of my systems. Psychologists should do more studies on the stress-reducing powers of a well-timed raspberry or temper tantrum for grown adults. ;)

    And then it's onward, ever onward!