I am starving. Okay, not literally, but I am pretty hungry. I'm sitting here writing with thoughts of food dancing in my head. Not even food. Worse--donuts. I love donuts. But I will not have a donut or any other sugary, fatty snack for the next two weeks. Why? Because I am vain. My first ever public reading of Never Slow Dance With A Zombie is on August 22nd. I want to look GOOD on August 22nd.
Truthfully, how I look will have nothing to do with how well I read or how well the book is received. It's not like I'm going to look emaciated and people are going to say "My, God! What happened to him?" Truth is, the people who don't know me can't notice, and my friends who attend probably won't notice either. But in my vanity-filled mind my evening will not be perfect if my belly is protruding over my trousers--even just a little bit. My tummy needs to be trim for the reading. I really do read better with a flat tummy.
I tell myself I am like an actor, losing weight for a role. I've known Russell Crowe to gain weight for a role (oh, I wish that's what I was doing) and then when we see him at the movie premiere he is handsome and svelte, shedding the pounds with seeming ease. I want to be handsome and svelte for my first reading. Handsome I can't control, but svelte? So, I am starving... and doing crunches. Ah, the life of a very vain writer.